Phood with Sex?

Phood with Sex.

That is a question that has plagued man since the dawn of time. Since the days of clubbing something to eat then grabbing a woman by her hair and dragging her back to his cave until now and seeing pudgy ass George Costanza on Seinfeld mixing Pastrami and sex. It is something people try to do and sometimes (most times) never get quite right. Yeah there are tons of things you can use and purchase from your local happy store but there are also lots of other options. Starrphuk has phound that when you try to use the items phrom a toy store they are not quite right. The consistency is not where it should be, the taste is off, and it smells pretty phunny. Has anyone out there ever really liked the edible panties or the phlavored motion lotions? I know once I taste that it takes awhile to get the taste out of my mouth. It is as if I have a mouth phull of petroleum. Ugh, *shudders*

What happened to using things phound in your kitchen? How about buying a bottle of champagne and letting it chill for at least 30 minutes. While it is getting ready how about putting some nice bittersweet chocolate in a bowl and putting that on top of a pot of water on the lowest setting? As this is going on, set up some caramel the same way on another burner. Then take the previously purchased strawberries and set them up on a platter so that you have room for the aforementioned sauces. (if you want to use phudge sauce too you can or strawberry sauce, whatever really. Except for honey, you can use it but use sparingly as it can get caught in hairs and those can get stuck and then you are giving yourself a waxing!) Once the sauces are WARM not HOT, WARM (of course if you know it is going to be a while before you get to the sexy shit, you can leave them on a bit longer.) take them off the burner and place in small rammacans or bowls and then set up in the room. Get your chilled champagne and place in a ice bucket as to keep it cool. Make sure you have your music on that gets you going, play some porn that you like to watch.

Have those candles lit and some incense (if you like it) and lay your partner down for some of the most exxxplosive times (s)he will ever have or tell your partner what to do with you and the sauces. Make sure that you don't mind getting the sheets dirty as this well be messy but hey that is the phun part right?! Start by plopping a strawberry in the bottom of a glass and pouring champagne over it. Give one to your lover, and take the other for yourself. After they drink take the glass phrom them and then start by slowly pouring yours over their nipples, and then sucking and licking the liquid off of them. Small nibbles on the nipple is GREAT! Keep up the licks and nibbles all over the body of your phuk as this is something they will LOVE.

Pour a small amount onto their belly and then lick it up. Keep eye contact!! This is crucial. Not in a weird Hannabal Lecter way but you know look at them while you do your thing! Once you decide to make your move south, take a strawberry and dip it in a sauce then take it and drizzle it all over your lovers cock/pussy(of course you can do this all over!!) then if you are pheeling exxxtra phrisky, take the strawberry and dip in the pussy quick and then place in your lovers mouth. Suck all the sauce off of your lovers sex and then continue! LOL I am sure I don't have to tell you what to do! ;) Continue with this until you have either finished the sauce or your lover has taken the control and thrown you down on the bed and is doing the same thing to you!!

You can always introduce feathers at some point as they are a great stimulator. If you choose to use them, remember they are amazing to pheel but you have just slathered yourselves in sweet sauces and need to know that they will most likely get ruined.

Starrphuk will expound on this subject later, the "teasing" aspect. I hope you all have enjoyed my little talk on sex with phood and yes I know I only used sweet sauces in the article but I myself have not employed actual phood in my adventures. Of course I am always game and will try to get some phood in the next time I have dick!

Have a great day the Starrphuk way;)!

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